Dear Auntie Kate:
I am a 28 year old female who has recently been attracted to my first cousin, 20, also female.  I am afraid to act on my feelings, but I think she is attracted to me too. I've never been in a lesbian relationship before. WHat should I do?


Dear 28,

Well dear, you ask for advice that normally we don't provide here at - we just aren't a site for that kind of coming out!

That being said, I think I have a few little words of wisdom that I can
offer anyway. (giggle).

I tell almost ALL my correspondents who are considering expressing a more
than casual affection for their cousin to remember a few important things.
The first one is that you already have a guaranteed, life long relationship
that you will live with for a very long time.  Don't mess it up.  The second
is that such a relationship opens a door to closeness, friendship and
affection.  I would advise you to build a little closeness and intimacy with
your cuz before blurting out that you are sexually attracted to her.  If the
feelings are mutual, they will become apparent as you become closer.  In my
understanding, that is one of the characteristics of lesbian relationships.
Certainly in my experience woman to woman intimacy, whether sexual or not
can be wonderfully close and rewarding.

There is a book, "So you want to be a Lesbian..." that's probably available
from our friends at, or at your local feminist bookstore.  In
this day and age dear, a little experimentation in one's early womanhood, or
even the prime time television image of girls kissing girls in a very sexual
way isn't unacceptable. Yes, I think dear that for that sweet Ling child,
even your Aunt Kate would consider a kiss and a cuddle. Wouldn't it be
lovely to know what was behind those inscrutible eyes and that volitile
moodiness??!  What she sees in that MacBeal girl I just don't understand.
She's quite a flibertygibbit in my book.  And I assure you that your Auntie
is all woman and completely hetro with respect to her (emhem) now matured

But I go on...

Do be honest with yourself and don't hurt the ones you love. Be who you are,
and do take the time to find out who that is. That's what I say! It's the
best advice for all.

Now, doesn't every family have a dear aunt somewhere who's always lived
alone but has a dear friend she spends just so much time with?  No, dear,
that's not me. But I do understand it.

Your Sympathetic

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