Author Topic: I had an affair with my cousin  (Read 10960 times)

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Offline wensj44

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I had an affair with my cousin
« on: Oct 12, 2009, 01:42 PM »
   I 'm a 44 year old married woman(19 years). We were together 8 years off and on before we were married. we have 4 kids 26, 18, 9 and 3 years old. Right after we were married my husband was still up to his stuff and started sleeping with a friend of ours, this lasted around 6 months or so. I was pregnant and hurt. After our baby was born he quit. I, with my mom and 2 kids went to visit family in another state, I'll not mention the state, but it's known for such things as this. Mom was watching my kids and I was running around with my cousins, one thing led to another and I ended up alone with one of them and I seduced him. Revenge, even the score, I don't know. He did not resist me in any way. we had sex, including oral, 4 times over the next couple days I think.We started visiting at least once a month and continued this affair for about 6 or 8 months. I was 26 and he was 28. I recently(a couple years ago) confessed this to my husband and was quite surprised at his reaction, he was completely turned on! Said it was a long time ago, likes me to talk about it when we are mutually ************. I don't like thinking about how slutty I was, not to mention the question of ******. This was my moms brothers son. Thanks for reading , I just wanted to vent somewhere. 

Offline LadyC

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #1 on: Oct 12, 2009, 03:43 PM »
a state that is known for adultery? that's every state.

if you mean a state that is known for having cousin couples, that's also every state.

i don't blame you for not wanting to think about how slutty you were back then. i don't like thinking about my slutty days either. but there are some serious problems if your husband is getting a sexual thrill out of visualizing you with another man. perhaps the two of you should seek counseling?
If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans! ~~ Van Zandt

Offline FirstCousinsWed

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #2 on: Oct 12, 2009, 05:45 PM »
I imagine you're talking about Alabama??   When my nephew found out about me and my cousin the first thing he said was "Are you sure you're not from Alabama"?   Don't know why that state gets such a bad rap.... never spent any time there. 

Offline LadyC

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #3 on: Oct 12, 2009, 07:36 PM »
firstcousinswed, she could just as easily be talking about arkansas (which is where people often asked if i was from when they found out mark and i were cousins)... or tennessee, or kentucky, or ANYwhere in the southern states. essentially, most people who think cousins marry in "that" state are referring to the next state over from them, whichever state that might be.
If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans! ~~ Van Zandt

Offline wensj44

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #4 on: Oct 12, 2009, 08:07 PM »
WV to slow the debate.

Offline FirstCousinsWed

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #5 on: Oct 12, 2009, 09:18 PM »
Oh, okay, WV it is.  lol   LadyC you're right about it being the state right next to the one you live in!!  I live in Georgia and yep, Alabama is our next door neighbor.   Funny thing is though... my cousin and I live in Georgia now,  BUT we are from the north... Pa. 


Offline LadyC

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #6 on: Oct 12, 2009, 09:33 PM »
 :ok:
If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans! ~~ Van Zandt

Offline wensj44

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #7 on: Oct 13, 2009, 05:25 PM »
I don't know about counseling, we have an awesome sex life. I think it's just the thought. We talk about a lot of things when we are together.
I'm the one with the problem, I've felt so much guilt over the years.

Offline LadyC

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #8 on: Oct 13, 2009, 06:26 PM »
i don't understand. you feel like it's your problem that you have remorse over having had an affair? forget the fact that it was a cousin, that really doesn't matter except as fuel to the fodder of your husband's fantasy.

wens, if his bringing up the subject makes you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or anything that is not GOOD, then it is your husband who is being the problem. it doesn't matter to me what kind of things you two talk about during sex, or what you read or watch to get excited, the bottom line is, if it ain't doing for you what it's doing for him, then he needs to find some other fantasy to share with you. because if he is aware how this makes you feel and he's pursuing the topic anyway, then he's being emotionally abusive... with your blessing even!
If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans! ~~ Van Zandt

Offline wensj44

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #9 on: Oct 14, 2009, 08:44 PM »
I beat myself up because it was my cousin.

Offline LadyC

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #10 on: Oct 14, 2009, 09:21 PM »
ok, so you beat yourself up. that part is your problem. but the fact that your husband is the ONLY one enjoying it, THAT is HIS problem, and to be so insensitive to how you feel as he pushes the subject for his own sexual thrill is abuse.
If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans! ~~ Van Zandt

Offline wensj44

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #11 on: Oct 14, 2009, 09:52 PM »
LadyC, I must apologize for giving you the wrong impression. I've reread my original post and don't see where you're getting that I am being abused. I too enjoy it during, and I'm not pushed nor is it all the time, but after I feel remorseful. Forgive me for giving the wrong impression.

Offline LadyC

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #12 on: Oct 15, 2009, 01:36 AM »
well then i apologize for misunderstanding. i was under the impression that you did not feel at all comfortable with talking about your prior sex life with your cousin while in bed with your husband.
If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans! ~~ Van Zandt

Offline natalia03

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #13 on: Dec 21, 2009, 05:24 PM »
But why is it that you feel guilty?

Offline a.holly

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Re: I had an affair with my cousin
« Reply #14 on: Dec 25, 2009, 11:56 PM »
Because she's bought into the stigma that it's wrong to be with your cousin....