chat with montel's producer

Presents
An Afternoon With Pamela Hadden

On April 19, 2000, The Montel Williams Show produced a segment about romantic cousin relationships. The segment originally aired nationwide on May 10, 2000, and repeated during the month of August. The show reportedly had the highest rating of the season.
During the month of September, Montel's producer, Pamela Hadden informed us they would like to produce a second segment on cousin relationships, and contacted our website. At our request, she graciously agreed to visit with us in the chat room to allow people to address their concerns. Anyone who may be interested in appearing on the second segment, which tapes Sept. 28, 2000, or on a future show, is encouraged to contact Pamela at p_hadden@montelshow.com - or 877 987-5446 ext. 331

The following transcript has been edited to allow for optimal readability.
(The questions and answers have been paired up, and the extraneous conversation has been omitted.)

pamelahadden - logged on.
Amy - hello pamela
Jasper - Hi Pam,thanks for coming.
CnMe - lol, sorry, your name needed caps to get the log in introduction, but let me introduce you...
Michael - Yea, another Mac user!!!
pamelahadden - Hi - thanks for inviting me to do this with you all
CnMe - everyone, this is pamela, one of the producers for the montel williams show
CnMe - pamela, you remember theresa's mom (here as MOM) and mama is my mother...
mama - Hello Pam, I am looking forward to this.
MOM - Hello Pam. I want you to know I am only here to guard my daughter & son-in-law.
pamelahadden - as most of you know - we are looking to produce another show on cousin relationships
Amy - is Martin Ottenheimer doing the show pamela?
pamelahadden - i haven't really started to book the experts yet...although i do think he is a very knowlegeable person to go after
Jasper - what will be the focus of this airing?
pamelahadden - basically we feel that another cousins show would be a good idea to do
pamelahadden - i think there is a lot of controversy that could be discussed
pamelahadden - obviously alot of people have different views on the subject
pamelahadden - even states do
pamelahadden - i like to do shows that people like to watch and i think our audience is interested in this topic
CnMe - you had mentioned to me pamela, that the format would be different from the previous show. could you explain a bit further?
pamelahadden - we have reformated the show this season alittle differently. those new shows haven't begun to air yet.
pamelahadden - sn't totally different but what we have tried to do is have a few stories to use as a spring board into an expert discussion
Jasper - well your last show brought some new people to the site that thought they were all alone in their relationships.
Amy - yea, like me for one
Lili - I am one of those people who came to the site because of the Montel show.
mama - I enjoyed your first show very much and I realize you need pro's and con's but I think anyone that is too outspoken can be a hindrance to your show.
Amy - i have to agree with you there mama
CnMe - will there be more expert testimony as opposed to the family feuding?
pamelahadden - we'll it is a talk show - and family disputes do happen - but i would like to have the experts have a chance to say what they feel to be true regarding the subject - those for and against it.

Jasper - what can we do to help with your show Pam?
CnMe - pamela, you may not recognize jasper by her nickname, but she is susanne, the one who was on the show that had her daughter with her (the baby)
pamelahadden - thank you...i would like to talk on the phone personally with a few of you who are in first cousin relationships.
pamelahadden - i would also like to talk with christy about her suggestions on some experts
CnMe - i'd be glad to help suggest some experts
Michael - Perhapse a panel of acredited experts in genetics could be seated on stage
CnMe - i would like to see the cousin couples in the audience and the experts on stage too
Michael - Yes, that's what I was tryin' to say CnMe, Thank you.
Lili - How about some Rabbi's and other clergy?
Jasper - how about asking these senators where they get their statistics from.
pamelahadden - regarding where guests sit on the show - that is up to us...we generally do position our stories on the stage and experts in our "talk seats" (this is new this season) i also do sprinkle other stories in the audience...we like to use the room
CnMe - pamela, i do have a few important questions. how available will aftercare be to those on the show? dan and theresa could have used that last time.
MOM - the only after care Dan & Theresa got was from me and cousincouples.com. Pam, I would hate to see my kids totally embarassed like they were the last time. How do you plan to prevent that?
Jasper - Well they were told Donna was there and they did kbow her thoughts on the subject.
pamelahadden - we do have an aftercare program and as i told theresa if she wanted to call our dr. she could - i gave her the number. we always give our guest the opportunity to speak with our dr. if they choose to
pamelahadden - i don't believe theresa and dan pursued it
MOM - How do we know there won't be any surprise attacks like last time. I'm not sure your offer of aftercare was sincere enough.
pamelahadden - i really m not into surprise attacks - and wasn't really aware that that is what happened.
Jasper - Well I knew flashes sister was there and also knew that she disagreed with our relationship. I do think Dan's Mom "stole" the show but they could've spoke up a little. as we did to Kelly
pamelahadden - i though everyone knew there story and who was gonna be there
pamelahadden - ther ewas confusion it was not intentional
CnMe - is there any way that you could arrange for the guests to meet with montel prior to the show? i think that would make people feel better. i felt as though we, the main guests, were not important enough for montel to bother with
pamelahadden - montel - is really the expecutive producer and it is up to him weather or not he meets people first - so i can not promise he will be available berfore hand, but when i do a preinterview with the guest coming on the show - we tape record it so i can type it for montel to read - so if that guest has something personal to say that is really the best way to do it
CnMe - pamela, would you at least be willing to discuss it with montel, so that before flight arrangements are made you can tell the guests of his decision?
pamelahadden - i really think that guest should just tell me on the phone what they want to say to him - he really does read all the material given to him about the show
CnMe - personally i feel that is slightly one sided. considering that without guests, you would have no show, i think the guests at least deserve the courtesy of asking to meet with him
Lili - He never does it CnMe, had a friend who was on and that was one of her complaints, too.
pamelahadden - i understand your point about wanting to meet with him - its just he doesn't do it - thats the way it is. - sorry
pamelahadden - listen honestly i do want to have conflict in the show...i want to have a heated discussion, but a formative discusion to help people understand the real life situation
pamelahadden - some people are for it and against and i think donna had everyright to voice her oppinion...anyone that comes can talk - no one will stop you from that.
Amy - thats understandable...it is a talk show
CnMe - i do agree though, the issue itself is controversial. our goal, and i hope yours too, is to help educate others
Jasper - well I think that in Dan 's case he didn't want to start screaming and hollering and disturbing the show. In his defense. I don't mind a heated discusion but I think the language can be toned down. The whole preview of the last show was INCEST,INCEST,INCEST. Besides the ratings side, are you and the other producers interested in opening a door for cousin couples?
Lili - We're talking ratings here, Jasper - INCEST< INCEST< INCEST sure carches ones attention. It is sleazy in my opinion.
mama - At one time a few years back I would have been against cousin marriages too but when you look at it from a Biblical standpoint you do not have a foot to stand on and I do think people have a right to voice their opinions but I don' t think they should be able to take over the show and that is the feeling I had about the outspoken person on the last couples show
pamelahadden - listen alot of people do feel it is incest - and we did have experts that did oppose donna - dan and theresa should have spoken up more...the reason to be on a talk show is to talk
CnMe - ok, on to the next subject... the guests having family opposition were not allowed to see each other prior to. in fact, the staff went to great lengths to keep them seperate at the studio. should the guests this time expect that to remain the same?
pamelahadden - listen we don't want the show to happen up stairs - i mean come on guys it is a show - and we want to tape it when it happens.
CnMe - i'm not saying there should be alot of discussion upstairs, but to keep them seperated so that they aren't aware who is present makes some uncomfortable
CnMe - and you will admit, there was some coaching going on trying to stir up the most emotions prior to taping
pamelahadden - tv is out there to educate and entertain.
Etta - Well Ms. Hadden if you don't mind my saying...education is what we want
CnMe - airing grievences is part of working toward resolution. nothing wrong with you looking for conflict, i just believe that MOM and dan and theresa would have been better prepared to handle the situation had they known that donna would be there
Michael - Like any show or movie, there has to be opposition, then the resolution. The Truth is always revealed in the end
CnMe - it is about how conflict is handled. coaching them into a state of angry frenzy may not be the most appropriate method
Jasper - Well I'm glad your bringing more light to the subject regardless. Yes people have their own thoughts on the matter and Montel did a good job in our defence. He put my cousins sister in her place. The politician was shut up pretty quick, I really think Montel was trying to be fair.
CnMe - i'm with you there jasper... i am glad there will be a second show, and even with my concerns, i do encourage everyone here to consider appearing. the montel show has the unique ability to rise above other talk shows on this, to help forge the way towards eliminating unnecessary discrimination
Etta - He's usually fair
pamelahadden - montel really is fare - and he does true to help out the situation - he feels pasionalty about what he does - and so do i
pamelahadden - listen - i would like to give you guys the opportunity to come on and talk about this subject - no one is making you do it - and you all have a mouth and the right to voice your oppinions - i am looking for people that would like to do that
Lili - I would have to be in disguise if I were to appear!
pamelahadden - ll also say that i am looking for conflict - i do wan to hear from family members that don;t agree - i would also like to hear from people who think donna was way wrong
Jasper - Thanks Pam please advise us of airing dates so we can be sure to watch again.
pamelahadden - yes of course
pamelahadden - so anyone want to do it? i am giving you a chance to stand up for what you believe in
Jasper - well Olivia is now 1 1/2 not really good for a quicki trip...toooo busy to take on a plane.

Amy - i have an idea for the show....maybe some of us cousincouples could send in a picture and you could flash them before commercials
Etta - that's an excellent idea amy. Ms. Hadden, what are the chances of me getting tickets as part of the audience at least...I live here in New York City...brooklyn
pamelahadden - sure i would love to have you - just call me
pamelahadden - my number is 877 987 - 5446 ext 331 or youcan call any at ext 316 or anntionette at ext 322
Etta - I certainly will...thank you!
CnMe - pamela, besides dan and theresa, have you got any other cousin couples scheduled at this point?
CnMe - and for everyone else, is there anyone here that would be interested in going?
pamelahadden - i have been talking to a lot of people and haven't made any desisoin yet
pamelahadden - i want to talk to everyone first before deciding
MOM - I would be willing to go again. As you know I am neutral but suportive of my daughters decision.
pamelahadden - mom - thanks
MOM - Pam, I was the quiet sister.
Lili - I'm chicken.
Amy - me too, and especially my cuz
Lili - mine, too
Etta - yes, again, as part of the audience since my cuz won't be here this month
Jasper - Well it is scary being on national t.v. airing your "laundry" but if you want change and don't want to have to hide from ridicule...someone has to do it.
Etta - you're absolutely right
Lili - And I applaud those who have the courage
Etta - well, like is said, if you don't stand up for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING, do you agree Ms. Hadden?
CnMe - is the air date still scheduled for the 28th, or is that subject to change?
pamelahadden - that is the tape date - the air date will be determined after taping
pamelahadden - christy - can you help me with guests?
CnMe - i meant the tape date, sorry
pamelahadden - i really want to hear all sides - for and against
CnMe - i'm trying! :) that's why i wanted to have you here... kc and i are both encouraging people to go on the show. i'll get with him so we can come up with a list of potential experts as well
pamelahadden - that would be great
CnMe - i honestly don't know of any experts who would be good for the opposing sides. most experts will give you the facts, although some still disagree with it personally
pamelahadden - fine that would be helpful
pamelahadden - i would like to have new people
CnMe - there was one girl who expressed interest to me, but i do not have her email address. does anyone know how to reach daisy from illinois?
Etta - yes, but i will have to email you with it, don't have it with me at the moment
Theresa - Ms. Hadden, will full disclosure be made to all guests as to who will be on the show?
pamelahadden - i am not into surprise attacks
pamelahadden - but i do want conflict
Theresa - Ms. Hadden, conflict was all that was involved in the last show. I thought this show would be more about getting the information out to those who need it.
pamelahadden - theresa - you were there - youcould have spoken more - no one told you not to talk...you should have stood up to donna
pamelahadden - i would love to have donna again and let people fire at her - although i don't know where she is
CnMe - you're kind of evading the question pamela... no offense. but theresa is only asking if she will be told who among her family she should expect to see there
CnMe - theresa, pamela has explained that conflict is necessary to reach resolution, and i think we all agree... it's just a matter of wanting to know how such conflicts will be handled, right?
Theresa - that is correct as far as I am concerned, but there should be more resolution allowed.
pamelahadden - listen whenyou come on a talk show - you need to talk - i told you all that
Theresa - the problem was Ms. Hadden that she was given full reign on the show, everytime one of the panel tried to address something, we couldn't because she was allowed to monopolize.
CnMe - this is true... she did dominate the show
pamelahadden - i did not think we hid anything last time -
pamelahadden - i would tell who was going on the show
CnMe - good, that part is settled! but even if it was without your knowledge, there was quite a bit of manipulation that might be circumvented in the future
Etta - Ms. Hadden, again no offense, but do you think the possible reason for Theresa not speaking up is because perhaps she was afraid to...not in a scary kind of afraid though?
pamelahadden - the point is - that youare there and you are the one to talk and stand up for what you believe in
MOM - take it from one who knows. there is no way to stand up to her when she is that fired up.
Theresa - we were, in my opinion, not given ample/equal time. I would like to see that happen on the second taping, regardless of who is there.
Etta - Sometimes, while yes, all of us should stand up for we believe in, sometimes the situation is that we feel that we just can't
pamelahadden - i hear you...but if youagree to come on - then i believe you are agreeing to be aggressive enought to talk
Theresa - Ms. Hadden, I hope you do not think I am being rude with my questions. I only wish to preserve mine and my husband's emotional well being this time.
Dawn - my my, the room is full, hello everyone
Theresa - you will have to forgive me Ms. Hadden, as I did not feel agressiveness was needed when I went the first time. Mr. Williams is known for peacfully airing the problems and resolving them in the same manner.
mama - I think it would behoove us all to try to promote peace in families not conflict, in so doing I think not only the producers but we would all be blessed
CnMe - i agree mama, the show would be fantastic if they can take an active part in trying to resolve the family dispute
pamelahadden - we were trying to make donna cool - but it didn't happen - but i do believe montel and our experts did try to cool her down
Jasper - yes I think Montel even tried to help out. I know when I said something to her. Montel repeated it to make sure she heard it.
CnMe - LOL, sorry, but i don't think it's possible to make donna "cool
Amy - LOL
CnMe - pamela, etta would probably be willing to be a guest, but her cousin would not be available. do both cousins need to be there if they are on stage?
Etta - definitely Ms. Hadden...definitely!
pamelahadden - etta - where do you live?
Etta - I live in NYC...Brooklyn to be exact
pamelahadden - i would be interested in talking with you - i may be able to work it- - but leagally i like to have all parties there so they can speak up if they want too
Etta - that's understandable Ms. Hadden...thanks!
Etta - and legally? sure :) since I'm a paralegal student it's, again, very understandable...but as long as I'm able to just be there that's all
pamelahadden - etta - come no matter what
Etta - I'll be there
Etta - I was wondering, while watching the show, what in the world did the "gold fish" have anything to do with the issue
MOM - Etta, the gold fish had nothing to do with the show. Donna has always felt she has to drag the entire past into every problem.
Theresa - Ms. Hadden, why exactly are you wanting Dan and I back?
pamelahadden - theresa listen i am not asking people to get up and scream i just want people to come across strong for what they believe in - if you sit and don't say anything you look like you don't believe in your cause
CnMe - actually, considering donna's tirade, i think dan and theresa came across as loving and steadfast in their conviction without making it more dramatic
Amy - i agree cnme
pamelahadden - theresa if you don't want to come back that is fine - i just thought i would offer it to you - and donna too - to see if we couldn;t get a resolve
Theresa - I understand that completely. My not outscreaming Donna was an attempt to keep the show from becoming a "Springer" like episode. I didn't want to disrespect Mr. Williams in that manner.
pamelahadden - i agree, and you had the right to act as you did
Theresa - As my husband told you, I am open to the idea. My only wish is that this time the "cousins" are given more time to respond to any questions/accusations/tirades.
pamelahadden - everyone has a mouth i can not control what people say
CnMe - but there are editors who can edit out some of the side show and include more of the facts... i think with more experts this time there will be that ability where it wasn't possible before
sh - I'd have liked to see Mr. Oppenhiemer on stage or at least being given more than 30 seconds to speak.
Jasper - Yes, I wish the people had more time to ask questions as well.
pamelahadden - listen guys i gotta go - i would love to talk to you all about apppearing - please call or email me - p_hadden @montelshow.com - or 877 987-5446 ext. 331
MOM - Pam thank you for meeting like this.
CnMe - pamela, thank you for coming
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