We wish to inform you that your aunt, Ms. Kathlene Smith is having social problems adjusting to her care here at Idlewild Acres. As attending physician I have been informed by staff that she is developing an entirely unhealthy compulsive and morbid fixation with a number of unknown or anonymous "internet" friends.
At times Ms. Smith has been observed rising from her bed to sneak into our library to participate in internet "chat" at all hours of the evening. Although we generally find it unnecessary to meddle in the social lives of our residents, the staff here at IdleWild have agreed that as a condition of her residence here, she must refrain from hogging our library's only internet connection.
As a result, our resident and staff committee has suspended her internet priveleges for the remainder of the calendar year.
Further more, I must comment that when our nursing supervisor, Ms. Pimm delivered the letter informing your aunt of the suspension she rose from her perch in the reading room and verbally assulted our Constance in the harshest manner. Contrary to Kathlene's assertions, Ms. Pimm does not bark at passing cats, does not breathe fire and has never been hunted, put to death or persecuted in any manner by a man named George.
I have prescribed a course of light sedation and expect that after she
calms down for a few weeks, Ms. Smith's emotional well being will be restored
and she may resume her normal activities here at IdleWild.