The Daily Bugle, Headlines, July 12, 1999

IdleWild Closure

Today investigators from the Ministry of Health served notice of a temporary closure of the IdleAcres Rest Home on Nonsuch Island. Numerous kitchen and facilities inspections repeatedly failed to meet standards established by the Ministry. The investigators commented, "After a number of warnings and repeated complaints by residents, one in particular, we felt we had no alternative".

Staff have been laid off pending a reopening. One staff member contacted for comment reported, "Since that damm Pimm woman choked on her chicken leg, you'd think the world was coming to an end."

Residents have been accomodated with friends and family where ever possible. Those unable to make alternative arrangements are being put up in guest accomodations at the Royal Hamilton Amateur Dinghy Club, adjacent to the town library and learning center. The Club has volunteered their guest appartments, even though the timing of the closure coincided with the their popular international sailing regata. This caused some reservation and booking problems, but all conflicts have been resolved and former IdleWild residents are settling nicely into the guest facilities. One elderly resident, who seemed confused but nonplussed by the ordeal was heard to comment, "My goodness, so many sailors. How long do you think we'll all be here?"

That question is yet to be answered as the management of IdleWild prepares a renewal program for the facility.

Whale Watching Fiasco

In the courts this morming, Fred D. Foggo and his wife Latasha were araigned on charges of fraud and indecent exposure. Police officers received reports that although Fred was charging tourists for whale watching expeditions, he was actually taking them around to Clearwater Beach where his wife Latasha was skinnydipping. Sargent on duty, Det. R. Witherspoon, reported that after the crime had been reported, it took several days for evidence to surface. Photographic survelience ul;timately revealed that Latasha, a former performer with the Hartley's Underwater World Syncronized Swimming Mermaids, was indeed the figure revealed. Unconfirmed sources from Latasha's weight watcher's group claim her recent weight in was just under 340lb. The couple are claiming she was wearing her mermaid costume and was only present as an interpreter for the program.
 
 

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