Dear Auntie Kate:

Name: S.W.

Dear SW,

I think this kind of crush is really sweet. It's flattering to be at the receiving end of one, and it is just delicious to be on the crushing end. Your Aunt Kate knows all about it.

Now dear, if you have a read through a few of my letters you will see a few recent ones discussing he age and expectation difference between 18 year old men and 14 year old girls. I think those letters have discussed crushes on younger cousins by men, but if you are providing advice to your friend you should read up and make her aware that they are at quite different stages in life. You can tell her not to worry though, that gap will close quickly over the next few years.

The advice I have for your friend is to just be decadently self indulgent and crush away until her heart just bursts with love and affection and desire, and all those wonderful things that adolescent crushes teach us. Suggest to her that she tell her older cuz that she thinks she'll just die from her crush on him, and ask him if he may like to take her to a movie some Saturday afternoon.  Most older cousins (like most big brothers) would think that was really cute, and be happy to take her along with his social circle or to a movie. That isn't a condescension, it's a warm, caring and pragmatic way to make an adolescent crush a little more bearable.

But dear, don't encourage your friend to imply or promise too much in the intimacy department. Fourteen is still a bit young to be involved with an adult man. Yes, at 18 your friends cousin is an adult man with all the desires and I dare say all the equipment. Let's just keep that under control for a little while yet. As I have said in my earlier letters, a few kisses goodnight above the neck (certainly above the waist), might be just absolutely delectable. Have your friend take care though, even that may just send her  little heart pitter pattering to the point of breaking sooner rather than later.

Infatuations do go away, and it's so nice when they just fade slowly with pleasant and wonderful long term affections as the results. At fourteen a little heartbreak goes a long way. It will happen, that's a normal part of a crush. Let's just try to keep it to a minimum. A genuine full blown affair with her older cousin may make for more bitter memories than pleasant ones at this point in her life. But you just wait until she grows up a teensy bit.

Now, wouldn't it be just delicious if she did have this crush, a sweet little brotherish date or two, a cute little kiss on the forehead goodnight. Imagine, three or four years later the affection and bond still might be there. My goodness, that young man would be in for the time of his life, and so would your friend. They just might make a perfect cousincouple.

Bon Voyage and adieu!
 

Your wicked co-conspirator,
 

Aunt Kate