Dear Auntie Kate:
I'm from Houston, Texas and I would like to
know about laws on marriage among cousins in Houston. I met my
cousin for the first time about 10 years ago. We hit it off from
the beginning and we now have 2 children one boy who is 9 years
old and a daughter who is 6. We were seperated about three
years
ago for about four months and I realized that it was really hard
for me to live without him. Since then our relationship has
flourished and I have been thinking about marriage now more than
ever. One of my biggest fears is how our family would feel about
us getting married and if the law will allow us to do so. I would
also like to know if it is safe to have another child. Both of
our children are very healthy with the exception of a learning
disorder that my daughter has I don't know it is because of us
being cousins or if it is just chance that she is this way. Not
many people know of our relationship but his mother and my father
know and most of our immediat!
e family. They seem to be o.k. with it but I still feel kind of
weird when we are around them. I can't help worrying about what
my other male cousins think of me. Also I'd like to know when is
the right time to tell my children about us and what to say to
them. My son has already asked me if it is true. I told him that
it was and he seemed to be o.k. with it but a little confused.
Will my children think I'm weird when they get old enough to
understand? Will they blame me if when they get older and have
children and something is wrong with their child? These are
some
of the many questions that I have and wonder about all the time.
Oh yeah I am also Catholic how does my religion feel about these
kind of relationships and will Catholic preists perform these
kinds of marriages?
Dear Texas,
Goodness! Didn't you write a letter packed full of interesting questions.
I
am pleased to report that Texas is a cousin couple friendly state.
Now, you know me. Those two great kids should be your number one
priority.
I am really encouraged that you and your cuz have been successful in
raising
them. Probably your daughter's learning disability has nothing to do
with
your being cousins, although you might be smart to talk to a genetic
counselor before having more children. Dear, I just don't know enough
about
it. You could start by asking your doctor.
Now, don't you feel weird around your family. You say they are
accepting of
you and your cousin, so take that at face value and be who you are.
Your children will remember you by how you love them and support them,
not
by prejudices and other peoples opinions.
You might find a catholic priest to marry you, but I think it would
involve
some letters and counseling first.
Good luck tracking down that priest, it sounds to me like you're on
a
winning streak!
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