Dear Auntie Kate:

What a lovely relationship you have!  And how confused and pressured you
must feel.  Dear, the first thing that flashes into my head is that you
should speak to your doctor and find out if your cousin is disabled because
of some inherited trait, and precisely how hie is related to you. That's
what genetic counseling is about. You sound like a devout young woman and I
am sure that this makes your situation even more difficult.

You have a couple of choices. One would be to leave the good will of your
family for your cousin and begin a new life with him. That may be difficult
for you, and as you say, would break your parents hearts.

Now A, don't you be so principled and devout that you don't visit your
doctor for advice. If you think going agaist the will of your parents would
hurt them, imagine how they would feel about a child out of wedlock by your
cousin.  Your old aunt Kate is not so naive as to believe that sleeping with
the one you love, whether you believe in it or not, or intend to or not can
remain chaste for long.  Now, don't you tell your old auntie that nobody's
pitching tents in that nice, warm cozy bed!  I bet there's lots of activity
between those sheets, whether or not you believe in it. If you grow up just
a bit dear you might find that responsibility and honest pleasures have much
to commend them.

I am of course assuming you are adult. Dear, I believe you should keep your
affair to yourself and indulge in the moment for a while. You may find that
your relationship blossoms so that discretion can't be maintained, but for
now you seem to have being discrete and private down pat.  Suspicion without
confrontation is just about the right level of disclosure to interfering
parents of adult children.  Unfortunately, that discretion is going to
distance you a bit from your parents. Until you reach a stage in your life
where you can make your own decisions and have them accepted by your
parents, a little distance won't hurt you.

I realize that you may see this as counseling you to hyprocracy, but I don't
think that's the case. What you feel in your own heart and do in the privacy
of your own bedroom is nobody's business but your own. Especially if it will
materially effect the people who have influence over your life.  There is a
reason our society believes in privacy.

Now, if you are a child forget completely what I have said. Make a full
confession to your mother and take her best advice. You will find that she
loves you, and may be wiser than you think.
 

Best wishes dear!  I do so miss the enthusiasm of youth, the joys of
discovery and the naiveté of innocence. (Sigh.)
 

Your
Aunt Kate