Dear Cousin Sarah:I am engaged to my 4th cousin. Now all hell is breaking loose. His daughters up until recently have lived with their step mother (his ex-wife). She adopted his children while they were married. She dropped one of his daughters on my doorstep where we reside at 1:00 am in the morning recently stating that the girl must live with us now. He has never lived with his daughter who is 15. She dislikes me and the idea that we are cousins.
She's demanding that her father get his own apartment and take care of her. Is this fair? He says he doesn't intend to do it, but I don't know how to get control of this situation which is suddenly out of control? How will I deal with his ex.
To me it does'nt sound like you are having to deal with your cousins ex it sounds to me like you are letting a 15 year old stress you out and take control of your life. I would suggets that you sit down and have a long talk with your cousin and then for all of you to get together and have one of those family pow wows.
As soon as you let this 15 year old daughter know what is expected of her in the household and that all of you are a family unit now and that she will not be able to manipulate you or your cousin, I think she will begin to respect you for that.
You should also take into consideration that she has just been abandoned by her step mother whom she felt safe with and feels now that she is not loved by. When uniting together all of you will become as one in a family.
I wish you all the luck for I know how hard it must be in dealing with
a teenager and starting a new life with your cousin all at the same time.
Be patient and giver her all the love that you now how to give. She will
come around in time.
Your
Cousin Sarah
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