Dear Auntie Kate:
Here is my dilema... I have a 3rd cousin, who is the same age as me, 27.  We grew up together and have always hung out.  About 2 weeks ago I decided to tell her that I had more than cousinly feelings for her.  To my surprise, she had similar feelings.  We now have a pretty good relationship and hang out on a regular basis.  She is concearned that something is wrong with this and that we won't be accepted.  What should we do?  I know that our family's would be upset, because we have always been so close.  I think that they would feel betrayed.  Is this legal and acceptable?

Any information and help you could offer would be greatly appriciated... especially for her.


 
 

Dear BigGuy,

Third cousins are very distant relations. I find it surprising that I get so
many letters about third or fourth cousins.  Goodness knows who my own third
or fourth cousins are!  You must have done very careful and painstaking
research to have even found out.  Do you think your friends, or even your
family will be so thorough?

Now let me think for a minute... your third cousin would share a common
great, great grandparent with you.  That would have been in the late
1800's - at my guess. Now dear, that would be a relative even more venerable
and ancient than I.

But, all that being said, your cousin's feelings of "wrongness" are
important. You should reassure her that there is absolutely nothing wrong
with romance between such distant relatives.  If your family is upset, then
you will have to make decisions on whether to reassure them, ignore them or
to abandon your relationship.  You know your family much better than I, so
you will have to get a guage on the best option.

Do buy and read our favourite cousin couple book, "Forbidden Relatives".
There is a link to a book seller where you can by it on our
http://www.cousincouples.com page.

Twenty seven is such a lovely age. Oh dear, I do wish the springtime of life
could visit me again. (sigh).

Your

Aunt Kate
 
 

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