Dear Auntie Kate:I'm 17 and I think that I just might be in love with my 14 year old 4th cousin that I see once a year at our Family Reunion. I think I first started liking her when I was 14 and when she was 11. The past family reunion, her and I spent a lot of time alone, talking, making each other laugh, rubbing aloe vera on each other's shoulders, but what seemed to be most disturbing to me, is that it seemed like everyone time we had a conversation, it was about some guy she liked or some girl I liked back in each of our hometowns. And when I go checking out girls with my friends here where I live, I always compare those girls to my cousin. But what I can't figure out is Why we always tended talk about other people? (Please tell me I'm not a pedophile either!)
Sincerely,
Mr. Jealous
Dear Mr. Jealous,
Now, don't you worry. It's natural for cousins who have these sweet little adolescent crushes to have a little distancing mechanisms. Cousin relationships are just a teensy bit taboo, so everyone has a natural reluctance at first.
What you have to determine is whether or not you both want to pursue more of a relationship. Once you've both made that decision, I think you will find that those little distancing mechanisms are history.
I bet she's really cute. But you just remember that a pretty little thing of fourteen is (as they say in Texas) jail bait for at least two or three years. Yes, it would be really sweet to see you develop an intimate friendship, but keep it all above the waist for a while yet.
No, Mr. Jealous you have nothing to be jealous over, but unless you open up with each other a bit, that little habit is going to bother you for a long time.
Your
Aunt Kate
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