Dear Auntie Kate:

Confused Kid

Dear Confused,

Well, well now. I usually encourage young cousins who have crushes on each other, but in your case, Confused, I can not.

An age difference of four years will be very small in ten years or so, but now it means that you would be breaking the law if you had any sexual contact with your cousin. The law is there because your cousin, even if she is very attractive, is a child and can really be harmed by the emotions and events around sexual activity. In EVERY case of twelve year old children having sex it is abusive and exploitive.

If you really do love this cousin, NEVER, never do more with her than hold her hand, until she is at least eighteen. Even then, she isn't just any 18 year old debutante, you have a life long relationship with her so you should carefully think out what you are doing.

Confused, I am sorry. What should you do? Learn to swim. Take up football. Go away to college. Should you tell her? Well, quite frankly, no. Yes, you could tell her that she was cute and that you liked her, but you must make no sexual approach or reference whatsoever. If you are her buddy and leave her alone for a few years, you will be that handsome, heroic older man
back from college that she has always had a crush on. Then, you won't need my stern advice.

Sorry Confused, I have given the right advice. Let's hope you have the backbone to take it. My point is, you are old enough to be a responsible young man. She isn't old enough to be a responsible young woman.
 

Your,
Aunt Kate