Dear Auntie Kate:

How sweet that you are so much in love.

Yes, it is legal to marry your first cousin in Canada and in many states of the United States. You may read our information pages on because for specific information on which states.

Time and distance heal many family wounds.  If you are bringing a cousin from the Philippines to make a new life in North America, you may find that distance is in your favor.  It is hard to argue at the telephone rates we face these days, and putting one country behind to begin life again is already cutting many ties.

My Filipino friends do love their families and respect their authority and opinions greatly. I'm afraid dear, that your cousin has a hard decision to make. It may be a great leap for him to be your spouse.

What should you do? On your next meeting you should have a frank discussion with him about the danger that his family may not support him in your marriage. Let us hope that he is willing to be with you, even with family rejection.  In my small experience with Filipinos, they have been proud, courageous and honorable people. They are also oriented towards the extended family and rely on it for their emotional support and strength. Perhaps your cousin will see coming to the Americas to be with you as building a new family - not an extension of the old.

So dear, those are my thoughts. I do hope things work out for you and that I have raised some points that will help you discuss this with your true love.

Your
 

Aunt Kate