Dear Auntie Kate:I had not seen my cousin in over 10 years. Just 2 weeks ago I came back from vacation in the caribbean I spent a couple of days in her house. I must say I never felt like this for anyone I've ever met. Aunt Kate, I said to myself this is the perfect woman and just from being next to her my heart beated faster!. On the day I returned home to the US She wrote me a letter to read on my trip saying that she felt very confused because she knows she "is not supposed feel that way" about me (being 1st cousins).I thought it was incredible that we both felt that strong attraction for one another. I believe that this is my love at first site because I've never felt like this for anyone.I'm 26 she is 22. I have a girlfriend now but I never felt for her in the same way I felt about my cousin. I'm very confused I have a girl that loves me and takes care of me but my heart desires another...I feel like a bad person :( I have kept in touch with my cousin through email, unfortunately she is over 2,000 miles away....what can I do?
Dear IslandMan,
Isn't it sweet when you find a little extra something on vacation!
Now, you have a few little decisions to make that may be difficult. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you're not a bad person. You will only be a bad man if you deceive the lovely young woman who is now your girlfriend. I hope you haven't made her any promises you haven't kept.
First, you must decide if you have a nice little crush on your cousin or have really met the love of your life. Kate knows that with some music, a few palm trees, lots of sun, lots of sand and a little fine beverage, a trip to the islands can make romantic miracles can happen. Wouldn't it be so lovely to always have freedom from everyday cares and live with your sweet cousin in a little cottage by the beach. But, that would be kidding yourself, now wouldn't it? Think to of your cousin in the same context as your current girlfriend, and then decide for yourself if this love at first sight experience is real, or if it is an infatuation. I'm not saying it whether or not it's real, only you can decide that after a little cooling off time back at home. A week or two should be enough.
Then, if you are in love, make sure your cousin is as well. I would ask her directly. You do seem to have very good communications skills and don't need your old auntie's coaching on that, now do you?
So, if you are both in love and decide to build a relationship it would only be fair to fill your current girlfriend in on the situation. Again friend, you do sound like a young man who can get to the point if necessary.
How exciting! Should your Aunt Kate be buying shares in Air Jamaica? Building a life together would mean a change of residence for one of you, and a courtship by email, telephone and travel.
Yes friend, it's not an easy nut to crack. Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Your
Aunt Kate
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