Dear Auntie Kate:ANGELA AND I ARE STILL DEEPLY IN LOVE AND WILL NEVER GIVE UP UNTIL WE ARE TOGETHER, FOREVER... OUR PARENTS FOUND OUT ABOUT US SEVERAL MONTHS AGO AND NEITHER SIDE SUPPORTED US, HER DAD WAS VERY ANGRY AND STOPPED US FROM SEEING EACH OTHER THIS SUMMER, AND WILL NEVER ACCEPT US, SO ANGELA AND I HAD TO GO BACK TO HIDING OUR FEELINGS, SO HER PARENTS THINK IT IS OVER BETWEEN US, WHILE MY PARENTS KNOW I STILL FEEL THE SAME, EVEN THOUGH THEY DONT AGREE WITH IT. SHE IS IN FLORIDA AND I AM IN NEW YORK. I AM STAYING HERE FOR MY FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE AND PLAN ON MOVING DOWN THERE NEXT YEAR TO BE WITH HER, WHETHER MY PARENTS LIKE IT OR NOT. I WANT TO GO SEE HER THIS WINTER BREAK WITH MY PLANE TICKET, BUT I KNOW BOTH OF OUR PARENTS WILL TRY THERE BEST TO STOP ME, WHAT SHOULD I DO.
Dear Friend,
I am sorry, I lost the last part of your message so if my answer isn't complete or is inappropriate could you mail your question again to me at <AuntKate@cousincouples.com>?
I have little advice for you dear, other than to say that one of the great things about cousin relationships is that you have a permanent relationship already.
As long as you have a dependency on your parents, you must respect their wishes. A little harmless flirtation or a few stolen kisses contrary to the rules is one thing, but I do not recommend that you rework financial or travel arrangements that your parents have made on your behalf.
Even if your parents will support you in a Florida college that doesn't mean you will see your cousin. Her father may send her to boarding school in Italy once you move to Florida. You just can't win that game and keep your college career intact. If your Uncle has resources and determination and your cousin is still dependent on him, you will lose.
The only game you can win is patience. Sooner or later you will be able to travel to be together, even if you have to wait until you are both be consenting adults with independent resources to do it. Maybe, after a cool down period everyone will either forgive and forget, or become less rabid in their disapproval. Perhaps you can sneak off for a fun escape in a few months, but I wouldn't count on it. Keep up your correspondence and do what you can to have a relationship at a distance. Eventually, you will have the resources to do what you like, despite threats or pressure from parents.
Oh yes, dear, one very important point. Don't you ever dare make life so hard for her that she will give up her love for you. Yes, she loves you, but trust your Aunt Kate, she will surrender her desire to be with you if you make circumstances that cause her to be punished over and over. It is sad, but true.
Patience dear, is your only hope. And, I guarantee that if you exercise patience it will work out for you.
Good luck at the studies, Friend.
Your
Aunt Kate
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