Dear Auntie Kate:Well I wrote you in may and it is soon to be august and happily the relationship is still strong, but i told you he was living with my family and this morning my mother caught us JUST SLEEPING together, she says she has no respect for us and even though we tried to deny it she said she doesn't believe us and now he has to move out. We are a week and half away from getting our own place but i still don't want him to leave and what if he goes to his moms and she throws me out too? Should we just stay united and leave together now? But where would we go? And after being confronted like this should we still stay in the "closet"? We know its none of their business (we pay the bills) and we are proud to be together but are still unsure of the political debate this is going to start. My mom is so hurt. I don't understand how this hurts HER. I knew she would be angry, but hurt? I pray to the gods that this relationship is strong because i don't know what I would do without him. How can I help my mom to understand and not be hurt? I don't want to hurt her and we have always been close. I love him and I can't see fault in something so pure and real and that feels so good and right.
No one understands that this is the happiest i have been in years. I don't need their support but i don't want the conflict either!!!!!!!!
EMERGENCY HELP
RAVEN
Dear Raven,
Dear, I encourage you to have a level head and live apart for a week or two. Oh dear, looking at the date of your letter, I see that I may already be too late. I apologize dear, my mail system has suffered some disruptions and you mailed to an older address. I do hope I can be of some help.
Well, the 1st of August is upon us, and no matter how this falls out I hope you have gotten your place together.
I guess, seeing what little humor there is in your situation, at least you weren't actively engaged in the act when your mother walked in. Now, that would have been a story to tell grandchildren!
More seriously Raven dear, I am so sorry your mom is hurt and that you have lost her respect. My suggestion to you is that you build a happy life with your cousin in your new place. As is always the case in such situations, deceit is sometimes part or all of the wound. Perhaps moving in with your cousin will help give you all some perspective.
Give your mother some time to adjust to the idea and then make some social and personal invitations. Let her know you are willing and want to have her be a part of your life. Few mothers can let see their children go in bitterness, and say bitter long. If your relationship with your cousin doesn't work out, I am confident that your mother will sing the "I told you so" song briefly, then receive you with open arms. If it is that majikal wonderful mystic relationship you crave, well dear, you will show your mother by your happiness that her heart should be more open. Seeing her daughter with the man makes her daughter sing with joy is something every mother desires - don't worry dear, she will hasn't lost her love for you. Give her time and she will come around.
Best luck Raven dear, I do hope my voice of comfort hasn't been too
late.
Your
Aunt Kate, crone.
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