Dear Auntie Kate:

Name: Ashley

Dear Ashley,

If your mom thinks you're just a bit too hot in the back hallway for your age, who is your old Auntie to disagree?

Ashley, being boy crazy is fun. Trust Kate on this point. But dearest, remember that being a real romantic and lover isn't just about silliness and crushes. No, it isn't about the thrill of seduction and stolen kisses. It isn't about kissing more boys than your girlfriends.

Being a true romantic and lover Ashley, is about being able to reach your lover's soul with a touch, a word, a smile or a little gesture. It's about living to be with your true love, building your time and lives together. It's about having your own soul stroked by his smile or his touch.

Dear, I think you have a sweet little crush on this forward young man. Yes, you may both have some underlying affection but I'm with your mum on this one.

In your two month cool down period, why don't you read some nice books on relationship building?  Maybe "I'm OK, You're OK" would help you deal with your mum, your hormone fed desires, and life in general.

Don't worry dear, it's all an exciting part of growing up!
 

Your

Aunt Kate
 

Response from original poster:

I know what you mean and I know that my mom wont let me and my 2nd cousin be together. She will do everything in her power to separate us. I had knew that i liked him at a family reunion 4 years ago. and  just about 4 months ago i got his phone # and email and address. I also know that he has been know to swoon over other relatives but didn't work. How can my mom deal with the way I am?
 
 

Dear Ashley,

I really can't give you very good advice unless I know your age and circumstances. It's hard to be a young woman these days. Your mom sounds like, at very least, she cares about what you are doing.

Your cousin sounds like maybe his libido is a bit over heated.

Swooning every so often is OK, one just can't take it too seriously. Making passes at family members over and over and over says something about this guy. You don't need to hear it from your old Auntie, do you?

How can she deal with the way you are?  Maybe you should talk more to your mom, and maybe see if you can treat her more like a friend. You never know - it just might work. Relationships work in one of two ways. Either everything is a contest between you, or everything is discussed and cooperative between you.  It takes a little practice to figure out which is happening at any time, and a little practice to make that work for you.  I recommend cooperative, it's much more pleasant.

Just think about how you and your mom interact.  Dealing with her that way will be much easier. And, check out that book I recommended. "I'm OK, you're OK."  You can give a copy of it to your mum.

Kate